my sadness today

i realize sometimes
my impatience runs deep
burrowing itself into worry
and to worry is to struggle
swallowing down everything
with such difficulty
that even then
it becomes so hard to breathe
turning everything inside spent
into outside forces of immobility
a self sufficient suffering
a void in an emptiness
brought about and around
by this simple notion
i miss seeing you.

To breathe again

This today of days,
seems to have become one,
that takes my breath away,
breaking myself into a smile,
a thousand miles long,
with that sweet scent,
of blissful remembrance,
of just gazing upon,
the very sight of her,
and holding it all in,
wishing I didn't have to exhale.

Ambrosia

Sometimes a soft expression heard

Is like the rhythmic pain of someone else’s trial

Fearing inside what we may become

Within what we can be

I hear this sigh from everyone inside

And expression of breath

All felt at once

This territory of love

But yet we weep

We weep.

To you love

Somehow I must 
Anticipate distrust
To come along
Where love belongs
We can only hurt
So many times
Before feeling numb
And yet is it bad
To hope one day
To still feel
Something that cant belong
Where hearts are torn
I believe
I try
To never say goodbye

Bare to listen

My simplified sounds
Stem away into waves
Bitter and cruel
Flowing in sync
With volumes of you

populous

What is the answer to this
From me to you
These things we feel
Matter to nowhere
As if we all just disappear
Upon the surface
Shading thoughts underneath
As if they could see
And wish they would.

It can’t be helped

Speaking volumes
Of things that be
Something alive
Moving towards me
I hate in saying
That love is real
But sometimes
It’s all we feel

Spring Rain

To rain a day
And fall away
From it all
And laugh within
The joy you bring
Stinging my face
Stains of life
Washing away
Like yesterday’s strife
Rolling down
My cheeks
Feeling nothing
But cold
Refreshed
Alive.

think again

Here again,
I spin unto,
The falsified truth,
Of who u think,
I can be,
Of what I am,
Standing in place,
Going again,
Into nowhere,
But the things,
You never see,
Conspire beneath,
This hollow shell,
Plan away,
Plotting to take,
Control of you,
Run away,
Run away.

Wishes

Again this lonliness proceeds by some small hope of a reccurring dream. A dream to heal my chest inside. A thought I lose now day by day. And here I speak this silent shout, to all who can't hear. To all who can obviously see, but remain silent. For deaf ears to hear something that they can taste and smell. It means nothing, because all thats heard is themselves inside. To a point in goodness spent agreed. But the thought of not saying or speaking what is needed to be heard destroys us, me. I wish to beg; my soundless pleading to just let me go, to just let me know.

renew

i have to feel,
such things inside,
to coincide,
with someone new,
it fills a void,
and brings across,
a stitch along,
this hole unto,
from where its been,
to now is gone,
a better place,
that once was wrong.

no comfort

haste made waste,
for future thought,
she looked at me,
again i’m flawed;
not again it’s said,
i can’t be this,
this everything,
i grasp onto;
my mortal thoughts,
of what makes me, me,
and who i see,
of all she wills,
she wants to make,
of me again;
away from self;
along such lines,
what comes into,
that pain inside,
to recede within,
its seems the same,
i can’t change me,
that pain,
is hers,
because of me.

alone

the summer's breeze,
can't find me free,
and let me out,
away from things,
these binding pains,
burn the grounds,
i lay upon,
and that simple air,
so sweet and brisk,
make the fires,
burn stronger,
hotter,
alone.

what is

what can today be,
so far away from me,
can i pretend,
to await away,
like everything,
will be okay,
when all i feel,
is hurt,
is pain,
and longing,
to see,
what really is,
and seems to be
that something there,
only i can see.

novelesque

Turn me,
page to page,
and read amongst,
my followings,
along said lines,
I hide away,
an indexing,
of beginings,
that never end.

ahhh snakes!

Reptile skins,
shed, unfold,
to truth revealed,
beneath the soul.

Nothing More

She burns my skin,
this heart alive,
holding everything,
I mean to be,
awake inside,
it all exists,
her parts of me,
like sunlight felt,
when whispers fade,
like morning rain
upon my skin,
renewing me,
forever more,
this love,
these thoughts,
are all I want,
and care to be,
nothing more.

seraphim

her eyes light up
and melt my skin
her scent controls
to take me in
i fear i can never be
my own to myself
for she holds me
forever more.

left apart

i cant seem to speak
for fear of reflection
can i wash out my eyes
to say its fine
and not a day goes by
where i can't understand
to understand your intentions
when it feels like someone is there
somewhere inside
bringing such things
is this regression
can you tell me
i am here
for this tomarrow
can you let me stay
and touch me forever
just to make it everything alright

life

i can never feel,
that way i feel,
about you,
the way i do,
with anyone else,
this heart of mine,
grows,
every moment,
and beats every beat,
to be,
as near can be,
next to you.

Helpless

I met someone today,
who made me feel insane,
staring at me,
with the same strong eyes,
that I happen to own,
dark and embroidered,
in sadness and pain,
his face blank, worn,
such a sight I see,
disturbing to me,
turning my stomach,
upside down,
unable to take,
such a vision anymore,
I turn around,
and walk away,
fearing my reflection.

Perception

Whispering words
shining through the air,
wavering with,
these thoughts of her,
this breeze that sends,
myself a blur,
into sounds,
of all i wish to hear,
speaking softly,
of all that is,
and what i see,
her standing there,
beautifully.

another day

i like to be,
this misfit me,
across the painted lines,
i cherish things,
i cannot feel,
that waste up all my life,
i dream today,
and slip away,
waiting, biding time,
for tomorrow brings,
such wonderous things,
that make me all worthwhile.

truth

I can communicate,
only within,
my silent thoughts,
crowded in,
without the world,
for it holds,
my selfless truths,
of how you all,
should listen to,
yourself someday,
and shut your face.

Still Lost

seemingly something,

that thing i cannot,

find so far into,

has gone astray,

and run from me,

it pierces parts,

of holes already there,

made inside,

trying to heal,

so yet with this all,

i try to give,

my heart outside,

upon my sleeve,

and watch it fall,

again for nothing.

the dying lower class

today's chances,

to stand afoot,

holding nearly nothing,

close its way,

around to more,

of this everything,

that we grasp,

strands of hope,

all slipping away,

from finger to toe,

until this everything,

becomes an emptiness,

we need even,

even, the smallest,

of the strands,

handed back unto ,

us all.

To the drums

the beat of itself,

preying on willing ears,

welcoming with it,

a sort of altered life,

sometimes enough to set away,

your hates and fears,

to just sit and listen,

and move yourself away,

from the negative,

please feed us all.

Resentment

here I go,

expand to demand,

more from others,

that cause,

given despair,

that cannot be forgiven,

and simply cleansed,

from dirty hands,

to make it simple,

how can you trust,

after being given,

broken fragments,

stolen away,

from your own soul.

to petrify

cold inside,

feeling hardly alive,

with nothing but to stare,

and look ahead,

wonder whats there,

but i cant seem to move,

you try that one step,

after step at a time,

and nothing,

too many hardships,

to feel a movement.

Paper Trail

What he gave me,
with my pen,
is enough,
from now to then,
it supersedes,
complacency,
and brings,
its own relief,
I can see,
I can see.

I Want My Sandwich Back

Saturday, December 16, 2006

What the hell bitch? You ran away, Taking my, Cheese, Meat, Butter, And spreads, The things, Of meaning, To my slices of bread; I sit, In hunger, This bland taste, Of bread and ketchup, Oozing pieces, Of iron tasting flour, Waiting for you, To come back home, And feed my soul.

Her

Thursday, August 16, 2007

in seperating selfisms, i get caught between, a warm comfortable feeling, something that i can fill, the insides of my holes, that seem to take, my breath away, this thing this beauty, something i hunger, just to find a way, finding you, taking into view, and grab onto, holding and not letting go.

something felt

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

tears and joy, seem to bleed themselves, out of pain out of love, i fear too often, of feeling things, that may drain my soul, of everything, but then again i want, i have nothing, but to try, i want to see again, myself i smile.

tradgedy of mind

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

to sit here inside of, all of myself, bewildered in unknown quadrents, of myself unexplored, i have to face, a trial to fail, somthing i cant do to myself, but what we are, alive as we may be, is all we are, no matter greatness.

Spliffed

Monday, March 12, 2007

Speak inside of me your clairvoyance when its best to be in control of me just watching and yet i cant seem to feel to need to break me free avoidance and yet its best to be out the understand what it is what it be just being me.

Stalemate

Friday, February 02, 2007

Temptation to run into something more interesting than self-reliance causes the trouble of the constant self. Pieces that fly to fall untrue believe in the failings of such untruth. Compare to this a piece of me, I know of something that will always be. But to take unto that item a falsified sense to seek another form for which boredom stands. How to compete the norm of things when all can change with a single word.

Pivot Point

Friday, February 02, 2007

These corridors. These isles. The turning points of men. How is it to be stuck between a place uknown and a place unwanted but welcome. Can the heart hold onto such selfless things when the things wanted so selfishly draw you in? I wish to have an open choice without the burden. But as life revolves, burdens recede. So unknown can be.

Selfserving

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

I want my coffee damnit. What patience concieves is never enough to fulfill ones needs.

Hmmm...

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Can one really complain about a near perfection? One that has chosen you. To express you. And let you tear it down. Hmmm. Frustration, really? Where can it begin again? By starting over? Is it a choice or redundancy split? Plain simplicity is not the answer.

Jargon

Saturday, December 16, 2006

Common Placed decency, Torn into, A repitition, Lost into your uncertainty; With all of you, Running it unto, Suspicious Taste, Salting Wounds; All the while, I wait, Wanting to trade, The vicious, Into foreclosure.

Simplicities

Sunday, December 10, 2006

To tread lightly in heavy soil. A thought amongst another hole. A being becomes a passive self to regress into falling further behind. And to geuss and jeopardize is a sin against the will where heart begins. A pain can be taken, a hurt can be drawn. And so far the wounds just carry on. And how whole can one be with places of empty space from scarred flesh to be?

Spent

Thursday, June 15, 2006

To see you down, I'll pick you up, And dust away, All your tears; I can hold you, So long as you need, All of me; It hurts myself, Through all your pain, To wait along, For your heart, To swallow through, These troubles, Gone away; And this patience, Holding down my tears, Seems to never release, With your eyes, Always saddened.